GEW, I'm so happy for you! Convincing and original is really impressive. Can I have some of that?! Seriously though, you must feel very good about your work. I look forward to hearing more about it.

Sorry I didn't get back to your FB wall post. The conference went well, and it turned out to be an unexpectedly edifying experience. I look forward to attending more conferences.

The answer to the question regarding theory is unfortunately complex. I have a lot to think about this summer, and I hope I work hard at that thinking rather than indulging in the escapism I am longing for! I guess Foucault has had the biggest impact on me in terms of heuristic devices, but that has political implications and complications. I'm not sure what to do about it yet. Also, F. Jameson and Bourdieau have left deep impressions as well. More on that later.

Amstr, good call! I do remember the Summary/Analysis responses, and I have not tried it. I will. I think it would be incredibly helpful, and it's precisely the much-needed skill I may be lacking right now. I'm glad you called that one out.

Okay, good luck everyone!

Cloud Nine

I got a response from my supervisor (already!) about the 5,000 words that I sent to her, and she was very affirming. In fact, she said, "Overall, I thought this was very good indeed and not rough at all. You really are starting to get to grips with this and shape an argument which is convincing and original."

Yay. Yay. Yay. I am so excited and motivated.

Theory

Amstr, Is your dissertation going to be theory-heavy? Is there a certain theorist that's driving your work?

SafiaK, I'm guessing your paper will be fairly theory-heavy. In your studies over the past couple of years, what has been your favorite theory/theorist? The most interesting and the most useful for opening a text? is there a certain theorist whose work you'll rely on in your diss?

Summary-Responses

GEW, I know you took Keesey's class when I did. Did you, SafiaK? Do you remember all those summary-responses we had to write? That exercise made me a much faster at reading and assessing articles. I'm guessing that it would do me well to re-develop that skill, so I'm starting to write Summary-Responses for the articles I'm reading in connection with my dissertation. Have you tried this? Do you think it will be ultimately helpful?

It's in the Mail!

I sent the pages. They needed more proofreading, and I attached a full page of explanations, caveats, apologies, and disclaimers. But it's off. I was ready to stop. I know I should have proofread it again, but it's a draft, and I have tons of prep and papers to grade, and I need to get back to my real job. I think--I hope--the supervisor will be fine with that.

Now I'm going to eat a peanut butter cookie before I go to bed and read a few pages of Breaking Dawn, the last in the Twilight series. Has anyone else read these books? The gender dynamics (along with much of the writing itself) are killing me. At this point, I'm just chugging along so I can see how it all ends, but I'm kind of annoyed at having to go through 700 more pages of the exact same plot moves and character conversations in order to get there. Why didn't I write some bestselling vampire books?

Working during the day

I got to work for 2 hours at Starbucks this afternoon. What a difference the day makes! I was so much more alert, motivated, and quick in my work. This evening, it's way harder to get started. I have a feeling my dissertation life will change drastically come September.

Almost . . . there . . . Stay on Target! Stay on Target!

I have the 5000 words for my supervisor. I've been planning to e-mail the work tomorrow, and I might make it. I've spent the last hour or so reading over the pages, and I need to make changes, and they will take at least two hours to do, if not more. It's about 19 pages, and I've learned a lot from writing them. The 19 pages are not unified, and they skip some parts. But there are a couple of pages in the middle that might be important. Either way, I think it will help me to have these things on paper, and I know it has helped me to write them. Theoretically, they could serve as part of Chapter One, but I think it's not really focused enough for a chapter. And I would have a lot more to add. It has some sections that are blank because I just skipped over them because I don't know enough yet. And there are plenty of parts about which, if I were grading the pages, I would say, "How does this fit in? What does this have to do with the main point?" or "What is the main point?" Much of the work is very contextual, and I haven't tied it all together very well. But, there it is. On the page.

Now, I think it's time to get more into primary texts so that I can get a better sense of how they actually fit into this context I've been spending so much time on.

But I do enjoy it. I can't wait for summer so that I can leave teaching behind for a little while--again. I love teaching my Brit lit class, but as for the others--not so much right now. I much prefer working on the research/writing of this dissertation.

I hope my supervisor is kind. It's very hard to send this out without a long list of caveats, disclaimers, and apologies.

An "interesting" proposal

I sent my paper proposal in last night, praying that I'd proofread it enough times to catch all my silly errors. This morning, I heard back from the professor making the decisions thanking me for my "interesting proposal." I really hope that's interesting-as-in-compelling and not "interesting [eyebrows raised, eyes ready to roll]."

Now I'm trying to plow through a ton of reading, and I'm starting to draft my prospectus. This weekend begins my commitment to Saturday work days. I'm hoping to start with 2 hours on Saturday afternoon, two times a month. Next week, I also get to go fill out preschool packets for the kids--I'm looking forward to the extra work time during the day.

My favorite new work tool: The Moleskine ruled reporter's notebook. In it I'm writing my list of small achievable goals for each day and any notes-to-self I need to keep track of. It's a bit pathetic how happy it makes me. (It kind of reminds me of impassioned conversations about grading pens.)

SafiaK, how did the conference go? GEW, how goes the writing? I'm eager for updates when you come up for air!

Wall of Shame contribution

Have a near-complete working draft of my prospectus by June 1. 

My goal really is to have the prospectus in such a state that I can leave it so I can start on a chapter and come back to mess with it later if I need to.

Safia K's Progress

1 / 100000 words. 0% done!

The Dark Night of the Scholar

I figured out this week that the times I feel most like quitting are the times that things are likely coming together. Wednesday night I was completely overwhelmed by the idea of proposing a conference paper. I was struggling with the format, feeling like my ideas were too simple, feeling like I’d never know the Faerie Queene well enough to write about it, etc. etc. etc. Then I did what always worked for me in classes: I talked about it (always the verbal processor). I actually started by telling my husband all the reasons I thought I should probably quit working on my PhD, and that turned into telling him my ideas, and that turned into feeling more confident and having a good outline for my conference paper proposal.

I’ve got a draft of my proposal (really an abstract, though I spent half an hour trying to figure out the difference between the two) that I’m sending off to my advisor tonight. I send in the actual proposal before April 18, and should hear back by May 2. This would be my first national conference, and I feel really lucky that my family is willing to be dragged along to Italy if I get in. Mostly, it feels good to know that other people are interested in questions I’m working on, and it doesn’t hurt that the conference paper would likely become a part of a chapter (or be expanded into a chapter). For all this cheeriness, though, I’m sure I’ll spend much of the next weeks anxious that my ideas and writing just aren’t good enough. Tonight, however, I think I’ll celebrate with beer and chocolate.

Wall of Shame Post

I think this is my first Wall of Shame Item:

• Finish 5000-word piece by April 18th for my supervisor.

It must be done.