Here is part of the message I just sent to my supervisor. I copied it here to share with you:
Dear Supervisor,
I’ve been intimidated by this next bit of writing I need to do, and I’m afraid I’m going to writing something that’s not very good and that I’ll embarrass myself and that you’ll think I’m stupid. It might be of tremendous help to me if you could give me “permission” to write something that might not be very good—just so I can get some things on paper—and if you could reassure me that you’ll try not to think I’m stupid. I keep feeling as if I need to read more, to know more, before I write, but that feeling might go on for ever, so I need to just do it. This means I will certainly have holes in my knowledge base.
Would that be okay? If I give you something that might be mediocre or even bad? Then I can revise and move forward as necessary.
Sincerely,
Good (Enough) Student
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1 comment:
Way to be good enough! I think I get caught in this feeling often. I usually don't think too much about the holes in my knowledge (there will always be some), but rather that any idea I have is obvious to everyone, or that my writing will suck, or that I don't really have anything to say. (Although I have been in an "I know nothing about Ren Lit" panic the last few days.)
Trevor's trick when he got stuck in the dissertation writing process was to find the worst dissertations his department had passed and read those. He decided his dissertation didn't need to be any better than those, and it inspired much confidence. (He ended up being told he had two dissertations' worth of material, and that it was one of top two dissertations his advisor had supervised.) I've seen a few people try to make up for lateness with greatness, and they never actually finish.
So here's to the zero draft, mediocre writing, and barely creditable ideas!
I think, too, that faculty expect that once you're in the door, you're good. The rare person flunks out, but most profs will do everything they can to get their students through. They know what the writing process looks like and the struggle of the long project. Whatever you had to show to get into the program shows that you're capable of making it through. (Now if only I could believe this all the time for myself!)
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