Coming Up for Air

Congratulations on getting that check-in email out, Amstr! I totally relate to the neat and pretty packaging dilemma; it contributes more to delays that I usually remember. Hurray for free-writing! Lately, I've taken to sitting in the metaphorical seat of one of my students to get my own ass in gear when it comes to putting words on a page. I really like what you said about starting again with blank page instead of tinkering with old ones. I still have my conference paper on my wall of shame because I've been tinkering too long, and the count down is on. Just days before the conference, and I'm wondering "how long should this be?" And I should be asking you guys, how long should it be? I know, 8-10 pages. Argh.

I loved your motivation list too. Although I'm a ways away from the dissertation, here's my list of why I'm gonna finish this PhD:

1. I'm been wanting to do this forEver.
2. I'll be fulfilling a dream.
3. I love the idea of being "Dr. B!"
4. It opens up possibilities for work and research.
5. I can feel responsible without feeling trapped in a "quiet life of desperation."
6. Small liberal arts college here I come! (We hope).
7. It motivates me to keep questioning, learning, and reaching further shores of understanding ... and more questioning (myself, the world, others, etc.).
8. All this constant exposure to new ideas makes me feel more alive.
9. It helps me feel connected to a world of text and art in a way that reminds me that I don't just want but need to discard convention (including that of academia! ;)).

I hope you're getting more done GEW. It was great to chat the other day, and thanks for the input and insights. I've got all kinds of new ideas on the subject of science as a result -- and a much better understanding. Gads, to work with me. I'll be able to check in more often over the next couple of months, and I'll be adding much to my wall of shame. (Including the non-PhD driven idea for that book I was talking about in December).

Good luck everyone!

More Prospectusing (and some wall of shame contributions)

I finally, finally sent my March check-in email to my advisor. It was only three days later than my goal due date, but it sure was stressing me out. It wasn't that I didn't have much to report--I've actually accomplished a lot in the time I've had the past month. It was that I want everything to be neatly packaged and pretty when I send it. (I'm not one to enjoy inviting someone to come in and look at my messy closet.) I got stressed out most by my prospectus progress section.

Last month, I got confirmation of prospectus stuff from the advisor: yes, the prospectus should be useful to me; no, it shouldn't take up more time than is valuable; it will probably not be a complete map of where the dissertation will go; it might, for me, include the basic questions I'm asking, the texts I'm planning to include (maybe even specific scene references), and my theoretical/critical approach (perhaps through what secondary sources I've found useful in my work so far); and it shouldn't probably be more than 8-10 pages.

Easier said than done.

I had hoped to send a rough outline as a starting point for drafting the prospectus, and it ended up looking rather sickly. I finally ended up freewriting "this is what I want to say to you about my prospectus," and I ended up with a decent description of what I've been thinking.* On a week when I've taken two work nights off and felt rather unmotivated to work the other nights, I'm counting the sent email as a triumph.

On the horizon:

1) reading Sidney's New Arcadia (I can't say I'm excited for the expanded version of the already long Old Arcadia, and though Sidney's thigh-wound infection death at age 31 is tragic, I'm not-so-secretly glad that he couldn't finish New)

2) finishing Helen Hackett's Women and Romance Fiction in the English Renaissance

3) taking notes on lots of things (I've had trouble getting in the groove with notetaking--GEW, I'd love to hear more about how notetaking/responding worked for your first writing project)

4) writing an abstract to submit for the "Maternity and Romance Narratives in the Renaissance" session for RSA 2010 (in Venice, Italy). deadline: mid-April. draft deadline: end of the month. I think I'm writing on FQ.

5) continuing to explore my theoretical/critical approach. My current strategy is writing a conversation between me and my advisor. Let me tell you, FakeAdvisor is an excellent Socratic questioner. Any suggestions on how to develop this section of my prospectus?

6) unpack the book boxes that are still piled in the bedroom--I need to uncover the Spenser Encyclopedia, the essay collection Dissing Elizabeth, Mary Thomas Crane's Shakespeare's Brain, and Faerie Queene.

*This exercise has been a good reminder that often I need to refine my thinking through multiple drafts, and not just by tinkering with old drafts, but by actually starting again with a blank page.

The Little Things

I love your list Amstr. I'll think about mine. I'm pretty sure it will be almost the same as yours, so I might just plagiarize yours.

In other news, I read an article on Sunday. Woohoo! Pitiful, I know. But it felt great to me.

Motivation

I'm given to bursts of motivation and much time when I'm not motivated at all to work on my dissertation. All the dissertation-writing books, common sense, and past dissertation writers I've known say that in order to finish, one must be consistently motivated. For a while I've had my "write first" rule in place, along with my "write for 15 minutes a day" rule. I'm getting better at the 15 minutes a day, but if I don't manage to write at the beginning of naptime (my first opportunity), I often get stalled until it's almost time for bed--many hours of work time spent on things other than work.

So here's my new plan. I have my Google Calendar email me twice a day (right before my work times should start) with an 'event' that is really a list of reasons I want to work on and finish my dissertation. So far it seems to be helping. I've been more productive this week than I have in a while. Of course, the test will be if it's still working in a few months.

Here's my list:

-I'll be following my vocation.

-I'll feel as if I've accomplished something important.

-I won't be a quitter.

-I'll learn a ton and be an expert in my field.

-I'll be proud of writing a book-length work.

-I'll be able to have an idea of how to move ahead with writing--either revising the dissertation or doing other writing.

-I'll be qualified to get a job teaching at a small liberal arts college. [my dream job]

-I'll have a degree that makes me even more employable, if I needed or wanted to be employed. [This one is certainly arguable, but a PhD would at least give me a higher pay rate at most jobs I'd want.]

-I'll have a chance every day to do something that I love to do (that's not directly related to kids). [currently, my most motivating reason]

-I'll be able to really tell my kids that dedication and hard work can pay off.

-No one can ever take a PhD away from me. [OK, there might be someone, but it's just not very likely.]

-I'll be fulfilling a dream.

-I'll be able to write "Dr." in front of my name or "PhD" behind it. And even both at once, if I'm feeling like flouting convention.

What's your list?

How on Earth?

Dude. How am I ever going to get this done? Must I stop sleeping or something? Or, God forbid, give up television? I am not getting anything done.